Wednesday, 29 January 2014

F**king with your friends (not literally)

How long have you known your oldest friend? More than half your life? Since school? Is someone you've met recently already considered your best friend? Does it matter?

Probably not.

Whoever they are, whatever era they're from, and however long you've known them, our friends are probably one of the most important strongholds in our lives.

So this one's for you guys! All the friends out there, and, lets be honest, my largest reading audience! What constitutes a best friend? Well, anyone who sticks through this blog for a start but I digress...

Thinking about how much I owe the people I know, I mean really, really OWE them,... it's quite daunting. This counts all the times I've hurt their feelings, all the petty, shallow and naive ways in which I've acted around them, it puts my hackles up. Especially considering that, for some of my friends, this includes the pathetic behaviour of my childhood and teenage years. But this is my perception on myself.

I suppose I'm just wondering how much indecent treatment a friend is meant to put up with, and does it matter?

One of my closest friends keeps apologising for acting a certain way on a night out (respect of alcohol of course, the old fiend), or how much she might unload on me about her worries. I keep telling her it's more than ok, safe in the knowledge that I, myself, are guilty of such and more.

Not to say that it's ok to be a bitch (talking about me, not my friend), but I can't help thinking about how it can actually be a positive reaction to your friendship. To use and abuse them, to show them too much, expect too much from them, unload, offload, implode. Everything that would test a fledging attachment.... could be exactly the thing that brings your companionship to a new level.

Every wart you show allows that person to know your face even more.

With my friend, I feel I can make mistakes, because that's what humans do don't forget, and it won't matter. I can be a little rude to her, which is always unintentional, but it won't matter, because she already knows this. She knows me. She knows that, whatever silly thing I do, or screw I loosen, I'm a good person and there is much, MUCH more to me than this one, stand alone act. And this obviously applies vice versa.

Of course, don't go unloading your bags of shit all in one go. Anyone who is a nice person wouldn't really anyway, goes without saying. But what I mean is, those friends of yours who can take it when you fuck up, especially with them, are the ones who can see the bigger picture and can grasp at the beauty of your portrait beyond it all. Yeh, poetic.

Don't be afraid or over-apologetic about your mistakes. Admit you made them, but rest easy knowing that your good friends probably understand you a lot more than you think they do, and won't hold things against you.

Buddies of this calibre don't appear over night, and they are few and far between. Some happen instinctually, some take a bit of work. Some are created over time, when you've known them long enough to eradicate the notion of time altogether. Whatever the weather, keep them close. Make sure you facebook them occasionally.

I guess, to all my friends out there. I love you. Thanks for putting up with me, and also letting me put up with you!


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