Monday, 7 October 2013

Missed Opportunities, regrets.

You're sitting across the floor from someone taking centre stage in the conversation, most likely during Freshers Week or a mate's house party. They are drastically explaining about some moment or other in their lives where they had done something border-line risque, and border-line 'everyone else has done this'. They sum up by saying they have no regrets, and this is where I'd like to stop the conversation.

I'm sorry, but everyone has regrets. Big time. Everyone.

It's life. The complex monstrosity of emotional twists and turns, happenstance, fate or coincidence. If 'life' were an open book, then heck, things would be a lot less messy! But that's not the point, I suppose.

Small actions and moments that we come across, take us by surprise, whether they are good, or bad, and the ability to deal with these situations is probably reliant on this little thing called experience. Wisdom is age, people. But you don't gain wisdom without making mistakes, I don't think anyway. Some people never learn, but that feeling, 'regret', it's strong, and it's miserable, and it lasts. 

So whilst the person sitting across from you is proudly exclaiming otherwise, I really don't think you can get rid of regret so easily. This is natural though, it's necessary. It's what allows us to take the right path when that same conundrum presents itself to us later on in life. It's what sculpts us into the beings we are now, and will keep changing us as we go through new things. To feel proud of our mishaps is somewhat unnatural, you are only telling people they should make the same mistakes, therefore encouraging a cycle of actions that will struggle to end. 

That negative feeling is what helps us empathise and sympathise. We should be proud of THIS ability, not the cause and effect to get us there.

As oddly vague, benign and subtly depressing as this post is, please let me explain. I recently let myself miss out on an opportunity. Again, vague, but you don't need to know the details. Suffice to say, I probably said the wrong things, or didn't say enough, and am now left feeling like an idiot for not knowing a good thing if it slaps me in the face. Ergo, regret.

In this case, it's no biggy, just a shame. I'm left thinking of ways I could possibly rectify the situation, which is a frustrating past time, if any of you know the feeling.

But I have learnt. Next time will be better. Sort this out, if I can. If I can't, move on.

And that goes for all of you as well.

Photo from Buzzfeed


Camilla Sita said...

It's true that everyone has regrets. Like you say, it's about how you deal with the regrets you have though. If you dwell on them, it's a shame. If you learn from them then nothing's wasted. Funnily enough I think I mainly regret staying in things too long, whether that's in bad relationships or shitty jobs. Anyway, yes.

tom prestwich said...

Good post, well put. I agree whole heartedly. It's good when you can look upon past incidents without sadness and just see the lesson